Supporting Men
Helping Men to Show Up Better &
Experience More In Their Lives
“Takin’ on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.”
— Ted Lasso
Does this sound like you?
“I’m not quite where I thought I’d be in life. I feel like I haven’t lived up to my potential.”
“My partner tells me I’m difficult to connect with. I have a hard time feeling my feelings. I want to connect with them, but I’m lost on how to go about it.”
"I don’t know my place in the world. I’ve spent most of my life in this predefined box, always knowing that there were parts of me that didn’t fit in with others. And here I am as a full-grown man and I still don’t know where I fit in or quite how to be."
"Other guys seem to have it together, to know who they are. There must be something wrong with me."
If any of this resonates, you’ve come to the right place.
“I don’t have the quality of relationships I want. I’m not sure the people around me really see me. We seem to only reach the surface level.”
"I don’t feel confident in myself. In fact, I feel like a failure, an asshole, weak."
"I don’t know what it means to be a man anymore. Whatever I thought I knew about masculinity isn’t working and the definition seems to keep changing."
"I don’t have a place to talk about this stuff. Mentioning any of it makes me feel deeply ashamed, which keeps me from reaching out."
We’re living in little boxes.
As men, we’ve been put in these tiny categories that have squashed our experience and sense of self.
We’re conditioned into thinking and believing something that is so small compared to what’s true.
The stories we’ve received about what it “means to be a man” have often had us putting on a brave face, while denying aspects of ourselves that are important to who we really are.
This leads us to expressing an unhealthy form of masculinity through ideas (and behaviors!) that are at odds with heart-based, soul-based values.
As men, we have been conditioned to look at life as a series of technical problems to solve instead of relationships to navigate.
My work centers around disrupting this conditioning as a way to help create more freedom and liberation, to foster connection, build community, and allow us to have a fuller experience of life.
I see a lot of men being confused by thinking their lives were going to unfold in a certain way and then the world changed around them.
As a coach, I work with men who feel adrift from where they want to be personally and professionally and I help them reconnect with themselves and others so they can regain their footing and move forward with confidence and direction.
My work is about creating connection. Especially for men.
“Be curious, not judgemental.”
— Walt Whitman
I create a judgement-free space for you to show up with all your shame, confusion, and baggage.
And to be supported in it.
I offer this through both men’s groups and individual and small group coaching.
The work that we do together is about examining the conditioning that has shaped our stories.
This work can be therapeutic but is not therapy. While things like trauma play a role, I’m not a therapist.
The kind of coaching* I do is about seeing what in the past has shaped us and is limiting our present experience.
Often, it’s about surfacing what’s great about us that we’ve learned to repress—it’s not always dark!
*Honestly, I don’t love the label of coaching because this work is not about becoming the most successful, powerful person. It’s about creating the most fulfilling experience of life – which means examining the limiting beliefs that have been shoved down our throats by culture, family, other men, media, etc.
One of the most powerful spaces of growth & transformation is a men’s group. Click the link above to learn more about Men Connecting.
Looking to make specific shifts in your life? Coaching is a fantastic way to dive deep into an area or two. Click the link above to learn more about 1:1 & Pod Coaching!
What you can expect from this work:
Your story of who you are and what it means to be a man will become clearer for you, working better for you in your life.
Your capacity to experience what’s happening for you and people around you can increase.
Some of the stories you have about yourself and others will shift, making them feel a little more aligned with what your heart wants and who you want to be in the world.
Your capacity to relate to those in our life, especially, those you want to and have struggled to be close to will deepen.
You’ll have a greater capacity to be in discomfort and challenge.
You’ll have a deeper sense of confidence in who you are.
“Men’s rights. The right to be vulnerable. The right to be weak. The right to be wrong. The right to be intuitive. The right not to know. The right to be uncertain. The right to be flexible. The right not to be ashamed of any of these.”
— Grayson Perry, The Descent of Man
How I come to this work . . .
In 2008 a friend suggested that I go to a men’s weekend. I was blown away by the experience because I’d always struggled with being in relationship with other men.
It was my first time being surrounded by just other men for four days.
It was powerful, supportive, caring, and, well, amazing.
I came out of that weekend exhilarated and joined a men’s circle.
Since then, I’ve been in various men’s groups, both as a participant and as a founder and leader, and it’s been completely life-changing.
In 2020, when the COVID pandemic hit, and much of my consulting work came to a screeching halt, I thought, ‘What can I do to help/support people during this time?”
The idea of creating a space for men came up largely because I know of men’s tendency to self-isolate and struggle on their own.
I knew that if we were going to be entering into a time of isolation and staying at home in general, it was going to be really hard for men. So I started Men Connecting.
The men that began showing up shared many of the things that I’d heard in men’s circles for years. Things like: they were not having the kinds of relationships they wanted, careers they wanted; they had fears about the future, about the present.
Over the first months of the pandemic, I watched the men who came into this space support each other in moving ways.
It had become a sacred space.
So, I sealed the group off because I understood that it would be more powerful if it was held in a container without men dropping in and out.
I’ve heard men say they couldn't have gotten to today without the group, that it’s the highlight of their week.
It’s the highlight of my week, too.
Building on the success of the group, and drawing on my experience as a leadership coach, I began to offer coaching that was specific to men who were wrestling with challenges in their lives.
In many ways, this brought my work full circle.
This work is not for men who…
Are mentally despondent, depressed, or concerned about self-harm or harm to others. (This is not therapy, and I’m not a therapist. If mental health issues are impacting your life, please seek counseling)
Are only interested in themselves and not in actually building relationships with other people.
Are pickup artists or looking to become one. This is not about getting more women.
Are interested in reinforcing traditional, conventional, and/or harmful notions of masculinity.
Are solely looking to problem solve and pontificate.
Are looking for a place to be comfortable and soothed.
Are looking to blame and “other” people.
Want to stay in the intellectual and out of feelings and emotions.
This work is for men who…
Are ready to step more fully into life.
Are ready to move beyond the stories that they have about what it means to be a man in the world.
Want to be in deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Are ready for their definition of success to change.
Want to improve and increase their capacity for communication, empathy, seeing other people and themselves.
Are ready to take responsibility for themselves.
Are ready to connect to their emotions.